that frog girl

Something really terrifying happened to me a couple of months ago. In a rare moment of downtime, I popped into the other half of my studio … the half where I actually do studio work, as opposed to the now-much-more-frequently-used half of the room where I write papers and homework assignments and keep my books.

I sat down to draw and … nothing happened. Or perhaps more accurately, something happened, and that something was crap. I didn’t have the persistence to really envision what I wanted to draw. I didn�t have the patience to follow the form and figure a subject out. It was too hard.

And it was in that moment that I knew I had finally crossed a line. After too much time of infrequent visits to that half of the room, after too many months of no real practice, no real craft to my art - I had lost it. My skills had officially atrophied to the point where I could no longer pick up pen and paper at will and try to Make Art. I had let myself go, and gone far enough that that there wasn’t any quick remedy.

Just hard work.

So now I’m taking up a new effort to really try. Having hit a little bottom of sorts, I’m trying to let go of expectations and try not to be discouraged by poor results. I’m no longer Making Art. I�m learning to draw again. I’m practicing. I’m searching. I’m trying.

After all, not trying is what got me into this mess in the first place. Seems like a new strategy might be in order.

To this end I’ve set up a new page on this site: the SketchBook. (Note: This doesn’t really exist anymore. The Art category of the blog is a better place to check for now (4/6/06)) Just quick jpgs of whatever I’m working on, be it good, bad or wretched. I’m just looking to get something out there to create an incentive to actually work on this aspect of my life.

It’s one aspect I really don’t want to lose forever.